The age old question- Do I quit my job & move on or do I keep fighting through the BS?
This is the question I get most often from clients, friends, prospective clients, etc. When you’re at a place of burn out, it’s likely a question you have rolling around in your head. Sometimes you think you’ve come to a really clear decision on it, but then you don’t take any steps forward in either direction. It’s also one of the most frustrating places to be because you’re not just questioning if this job is the right fit anymore, you’re weighing the financial pressures, other’s judgements and opinions, all the logical stuff (like health insurance, benefits, etc), you family health, your own personal wellbeing, on and on and on.
So where do you start when carrying this heavy indecision?
First- Acknowledge that there is no RIGHT and WRONG decision.
There is only a decision and moving forward within that. It’s easy to get stuck in solving the problem at hand. And from that, believing that if you choose correctly, it will lead you to everything you want, and lead you out hardship and challenges. But the truth is, you will have challenges on either side of this decision. If you choose to stay in your job, you’re going to have to work through your burn out in a different way, maybe a way you’ve never seen modeled before or never been successul at implementing. If you choose to leave your job, you’re going to have to start the job search and heal your burn out at the same time, which have competing priorities and struggles all of their own. So, there is not a right answer. There is no easy button. And you also can’t fuck it up.
Second- Decide that your answer is the only one that matters.
Don’t get distracted by getting feedback after feedback after feedback. Sure, check in with your partner about how they feel and the possible effects of each decision. Maybe get a trusted friend or family member to give you a different perspective to weigh out. But do not keep going. Don’t poll every coworker. Don’t ask over and over again every time another challenging shit-uation happens at work. Don’t keep threatening to quit and not back it up. Make a list (NO more than 5) of trusted voices that you desire feedback and perspective from. Then, call that part done. The more voices you have, the less you’ll hear your own. So get your feedback, and then decide whatever answer and decision you make will be the best for everyone around you.
Third- Take a break from thinking about your decision.
Not like, pretend to take a break, but secretly be mulling it over every second of every day, actually take a break. Pull your thoughts out of that process as many times as you need to in order to stay grounded in something else. You’ll be tempted to mull this process over all the time until you come to a clear decision, but that will actually deplete your energy faster and make your clarity farther away. Don’t just give yourself other things to do, do those things while intentionally putting your decision process in it’s own space in your thoughts. When you find yourself thinking about it again, or seized by the anxiety of needing to think about it, tell yourself exactly when you’re going to pick it up again, and come back to what you’re doing. Redirecting this way is a powerful tool to support your own rest and well being.
Fourth- take off the timeline pressure.
I know. When you’re drowning in burn out, it can feel like you have to make a decision as fast as possible. But just know you will come to a decision at the exact right moment for you. But the more pressure you put on an already stressful situation, the less likely you will be to feel good about any decision you make. If someone else’s timeline is on it, shake it off and set your own timeline that feels spacious.
Fifth- Tap into your own inner wisdom.
It’s rare that you don’t actually have enough data at your fingertips to make a decision. Usually, what keeps you stuck in this place is not that data you have, but the data you won’t get. You won’t know what happens in the future. You won’t know if your vision will come to life. You won’t know how long something will or will not take in order to see improvements. Release all of those things you ‘wish’ you could know, but ultimately are not in control of. Step into your own inner wisdom. You know the answer. You have everything you need to make a decision. And you can do this.
Weighing out this decision on your own & want support in implementing these steps? Reach out for a free call with me!